Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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