Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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