Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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