im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
