I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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