Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All the doctor said was why
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
