oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
