OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You took a bar mat shot.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
