The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
