Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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