My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
