I didn't shave. On purpose
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
