I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
