Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
