Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
