we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
