Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
