the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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