His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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