Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
