matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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