how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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