Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
