you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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