I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
