google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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