I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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