I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
