Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
