I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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