the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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