planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
