somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
