she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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