I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
