She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
