Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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