she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
