I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
