Non-Jews are for practice
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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