oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
