Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
