at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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