True but thats because hes a fetus.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
