It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
