Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
