If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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