I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
