So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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