I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Randomize
